by Ron Enderland

Yes, the election is over. It was close, and there were some nice write-in votes (most notably "netizens." But it still only got one vote). The clear winner is webheads.

This one was my own creation.

Okay, on to new stuff.

Have you ever been to the Epcot Center? My family and I went last September.

The Epcot Center, in case you didn't know, is the "adult" oriented section of Disney World. No, that doesn't mean that the seven dwarves are running around wearing Chippendale's outfits. It means that it is an experience that is more geared towards a grown-up's tastes.

Of course, the question raging within your mind is "What the heck does Epcot stand for?" Well, I did a little checking. It seems that it is an acronym for Extremely pricey complicated overdose of travel.

Now, don't get me wrong. I really enjoyed it. As a matter of fact, when you compare its rates to those of other Orlando attractions, it's not bad at all. It was a bit overwhelming, though.

The first thing that I noticed was the "European" style of the first bathroom that I made use of. There was a little picture of a man and a woman on the door. Yes, if you don't lock it, there's no telling WHO might pop in!

Bathrooms were necessary, of course, especially in the light of my second discovery: Experiencing the feel of different nations included the opportunity to sample their beverages, both alcoholic and non. That's right! You can buy beer at Epcot! I was in heaven . . .

In fact, if you are so inclined, it is possible to start with a Dos Equis in Mexico, work your way through Norway, China, Germany, Idaly, The Unided Shtates, Japanan, Morrrroccco, Fransss, Grade Briddin, and Cannnnady.

Now, don't worry. I didn't overindulge. As a matter of fact, neither did anyone else. You see, Epcot is based on the premise that people will behave themselves if you give them the chance to.

Alcoholic beverages are not sold at The Magic Kingdom. This, too, makes good sense. The multitudes there are perhaps not quite as responsible as the Epcot crowd. People go there to have a blast, while people go to Epcot to learn something.

Epcot was, indeed, a very realistic look at the world. If you've never been there, but you have been to a world's fair, then you have an idea of what it's all about. Each nation has its own section, complete with restaurants, shoppes, and entertainment.

There are also sections devoted to inventions, the land, the seas, etc. The one that I made a beeline for was Spaceship Earth, presented by AT&T.

Picture my situation: I had been on vacation for a week. It had been seven days since my last email check. I had gone seven days without engaging in an activity that I usually did ten times per day!

I was told by my next door neighbors (who were regular Epcot visitors) that in the AT&T section, you could log on and check your email.

I ran at a full gallop into the big ball-shaped building. I trotted up to a telephone of the future. It had a bewildering set of options, including voice transmission, data transmission, and four-speed-overdrive transmission. I selected "data." The phone flashed this message: "This feature is currently not available." Wow! Just like my provider back home! I was REALLY impressed.

So, if you find yourself in Florida, I highly recommend Epcot. Rumor has it that there may be fake riots staged in the Chinese section next year, in honor of the anticipated confusion of returning the colony of Hong Kong in 1997. Have fun! And, for Pete's sake, don't drink the water in Mexico!